Relationships: Friends, Family & COACHES!

My dad is a preacher, so you know where we were every SUNDAY MORNING, eh?
You betcha...
My buns were wearing a groove mark in a church pew ! If I'm honest, I didn't love going to Church every Sunday, ESPECIALLY in my teen years. However, now that I am in my over the hill-ish years...I am VERY GRATEFUL for those good old fashioned lessons!

So to this very day, my heart soul & mind are pretty well trained to spend time reflecting, reading, and mediating. This year I even added JOURNAL-ing to my repertoire! I know, I know, I'm growing up so fast! Now, don't get all impressed or nothin' ...'cause I'm a beginner here & still practicing this new skill.  But, if you are still impressed somehow, this should help clear things up: full transparency - I had to "ChatGPT it" how do you spell  "repetroire"... at least I was close! "Uff-da!"

Today I would like to focus on the topic of RELATIONSHIPS!
Probably one of the most important things we could ever get better at.  Don't take my word for it, here is what a much wiser expert had to say about this topic:
"The best way to predict your future is to create it."
-JOHN WOODEN
Coach Wooden as you know, was a true legend in the sports world & one of winning-est coaches of all-time.

When I first read his quote, I didn't think of it as a "relationship" quote. How about you?
I thought of it more selfishly and more along the lines of  MY own FUTURE & MY personal SUCCESS. And THAT is my PROBLEM. My tendency is to get so focused on ME, MYSELF & I...that I forget WHY I am here. WHY I get to DO what I DO. Really I'm here to serve YOU, to serve my players, to serve OTHERS. John Wooden knew this very well and it is why he was so SUCCESSFUL. He was a legend in coaching, because he mastered the art of RELATIONSHIPS. He came at it from a unique angle and perspective, as all great leaders, coaches & parents tend to do.

While this quote is often used in reference to personal growth, it really applies to RELATIONSHIPS—encouraging us to invest in and shape the future WE WANT through our actions...our COMMITMENTS and not just our WORDS.
As a coach myself,
I often struggle with that. Coaches have to talk a lot. It's just part of the JOB...but if I am "ALL TALK," I will eventually lose the respect, trust & ultimately the RELATIONSHIP with my players. That would truly be a LOSING record. People are what matter most, in life. We can take this off the court as well and apply Coach Wooden's lesson to our personal relationships. Just like on a team, all of our personal relationships will thrive with effort, intention, keeping commitments & our ACTIONS over our words!

We have all heard this "GOLDEN RULE" of wisdom: "Your actions speak louder than your words," eh?

But "UFF-Da" that ain't easy...it's a simple idea but it takes a lot of PRACTICE.

---

So how do we do better with our teammates, our coaches, our relationships?

In my 20 year experience in the school of HARD KNOCKS,
it is as simple as these 2 things:

• 1) Tiger Woods Rule: the KISS principle: Tiger Woods always quotes the "KISS" idea in golf & that is, "Keep it Simple STUPID(me)" -  Not sure about you, I can only speak for myself,  but when I "overthink it",  try to "control things", our even worse, try to "manipulate a relationship or situation" to get WHAT I WANT out of it...I just get in the WAY and mess it all up. 
  • So what do we do? Well, let's keep it simple. How about we follow the "GOLDEN RULE" 
• 2) The GOLDEN Rule: I bet you know this rule without me telling you. Maybe even rolling your eyes a bit & thinking, "Really...I read this far, just for a RULE that I've known since I was little?!"
  • Well let's think a little more about it quick & be done for today's topic:
    

The Golden Rule encourages us to treat others as they would like to be treated. Ok...Duh...right?!
More than meets the eye...

Stay with me, the next part here is something that I just learned a few years ago, and I want to see what you think about this. Previously, I had always thought the "GOLDEN RULE" was just a "Christian-kinda-Rule." I really hadn't given it much thought as a kid and just figured "heaven is probably gold-ish, so "Golden Rule," and that's that ... let's move on here Sunday School teacher lady!" That SS teacher just so happened to be my mom & she is an AMAZING human by the way.  :)

But, Did You Know? I didn't know this until about 5-7 years ago...
The Golden Rule is found in all cultures, religions, & even philosophies?!

The rule serves as a global human foundation for ethical behavior & mutual respect.
Wow...that is A LOT of people that ACTUALLY agree on something. This idea can be traced back to various ancient texts, such as:

• Christianity: In the Bible, in Matthew 7:12, it says, “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you.”
• Confucianism: Confucius expressed it as, "Do not do to others what you do not want done to yourself."
• Buddhism: In the Udana-Varga, it states, “Hurt not others in ways that you yourself would find hurtful.”
• Islam: The Hadith states, "None of you truly believes until he wishes for his brother what he wishes for himself."

So, the Golden Rule promotes empathy. Encouraging us to consider the feelings, needs, and perspectives of OTHERS before acting selfishly. It’s a principle aimed at fostering kindness, fairness, and understanding in human relationships! 

I know I need to keep working on my RELATIONSHIPS & hope this message encourages you and maybe even CHALLENGES you a bit. A challenge to create yourself a BRIGHT FUTURE!

Oh...and one last thing, 
Did I ever tell you?
I'm a fortune teller as a coach,
&
"I can see ur future...it's so BRIGHT...u gonna have to wear SHADES...BABY!!"
So you need to get on out there and JUST DO IT, do what Coach Wooden said,
"The best way to predict your future is to create it."
Great relationships are the richest and most successful you could ever possibly be!

Who knows,
You might even start to play better golf...okay that's probably too far. ;)

Thanks for hanging out with me here via this blog...Peace, Love
&
Good VIBES being sent your way,
-Coach Holen

I'd love to help you & ur family in anyway I can
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​651-216-4539

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