It's Okay to Lie...Master Your Self-Talk

Your brain doesn’t care if you lie to it.
This is a very important concept to understand when you are beginning to dive into the idea of self-talk. It is completely true: Your brain DOES NOT care if what you tell it is a lie. It simply takes what you tell it and creates your reality. With this idea in mind, it is extremely important to begin to monitor your self-talk and strive to use it to forge the reality you want.

The 5 Different Methods of Self-Talk
There are five different methods in which we can use self-talk to impact our lives: Silent Self-Talk, Self-Speak, Self-Conversation, Self-Write, and Self-Audio.

Silent Self-Talk: Monitor Your Thoughts
The internal thoughts you have on a daily basis is called your silent self-talk.
    
    How can you change negative silent self-talk?
        Step 1: The most important step in changing your self-talk is to rid yourself of that little voice telling you that all this “self-talk stuff” is garbage, rubbish, baloney. You need to give  yourself permission to buy in.
        Step 2: Allow yourself to be aware of the self-talk that is working against you.
        Step 3: Immediately turn the negative self-talk around. If you find yourself saying you are always late, instantly tell yourself the opposite: “I am consistently on time!” This turnaround of self-talk will actually change how you feel. If you find your self-talk exclaiming how sad, tired, or upset you feel...change it. Immediately tell yourself you are extremely happy, you are energized, you are calm. Change the signals that are being sent to your brain. Remember, your brain doesn’t care if you are lying to it; it has no moral compass. It will just take what you consistently tell it and create that reality.

Self-Speak: Monitor What You Say Aloud
What you say aloud affects your subconscious, so beginning to monitor your conscious, aloud self-speak is essential. Work to keep your thoughts positive!

Are you complaining?
Complaining is basically negative visualization and it doesn’t change your circumstances: it perpetuates it. When you complain about something going on in your life, you may feel better for a little bit, but it doesn’t change your actual circumstances.

How can you stop?
Try to reframe how you see the problem and find the value. For example, if your boss is sometimes rude and disrespectful, see that as a challenge you can grow from. The situation can be viewed as an opportunity to build patience and kindness in some tough circumstances.


Self-Conversations: Monitor the Conversations You Have With Yourself
    The art of talking with yourself aloud and hold multiple sides of a conversation is Self-Conversation. We’ve all done it, so don’t feel like you are crazy. :) Those times when you are making a decision and you say something like, “Well, I think that would be a terrible idea.” And then you say, “You are probably right about that.” ... all aloud…to yourself. Remember, you are NOT crazy.
    
How can you take advantage of the skill of self-conversation?
        One way to utilize self-conversation is to have daily aloud conversations with yourself regarding beneficial topics. For example, begin each day exclaiming, “Good morning! You look like you feel great today! I bet you can handle anything that comes your way!” Then respond, “I feel great and I know today is going to be awesome!” This may seem kind of weird, but I challenge you to try it. Find a private place tomorrow morning, and just try it. You might be amazed how it makes you feel. Why is this effective? It forces you to put thoughts into words, and words have a dramatic impact on how you feel.

Self-Write: The Power of the Written Word
    Self-write is the act of creating written or typed messages to read to yourself.

    How can you implement Self-Write?

1. Identify an area you would like to improve in.
   1. “I’m always late.”
2. List a few statements that explain your struggles in that area.
   1. “I do not allow myself enough time to get ready.”
   2. “I find myself to be disorganized at the last minute.”
3. Write our reframed statements explaining how you excel in the areas you struggle with. Use the first person (“I” statements).
   1. “I am always on time or early for events. I’m excellent at time management. I plan ahead and organize all items I need well before events take place.”
4. Post these statements on cards where you can see them, or access them, 3-4 times per day.

Audio-Talk: Audio Files to Reprogram Your Thoughts
    Audio-talk is the act of creating audio files of powerful, positive self-talk statements that you can listen to on a handheld device or computer.

    How can you create and utilize Audio-Talk?

1. Follow the same steps as listed in Self-Writes to create positive self-talk statements addressing certain problems you are experiencing.
2. Record yourself saying the each of the statements 2-3 times.
3. Add music that you find appealing.
4. Listen to the files 3-4 times/day.
   
   

HOW TO CREATE AND USE SELF-TALK STATEMENTS

1. Identify 1-2 areas you want to improve on the course and 1-2 areas to improve off the course
   • understand that depending on what is chosen, it may overlap.
2. Write 2-3 statements that describe your biggest challenges for each identified area
3. Write new statements to reprogram your negative thoughts
4. Create 2 copies of these new statements. Put one copy in your golf bag and one on your bathroom mirror at home. This way, if you have fairly good hygiene :),  you should be exposed to the statements at least 4 times per day: in the morning, before practice, after practice, and at night.
5. Optional: You can create audio files of these statements and listen to them as well. Some great times to listen could include on the way to and from school, work or matches; and while you get ready in the morning, before bed, or even while sleeping.

Remember, your brain believes what you tell it the most, so take control of your self-talk.
​
Duane Jourdeans
Director of Performance Psychology
Western  WI Golf